


A kiss...

by Wrathofscribbles



Series: Kisses... [10]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 19:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrathofscribbles/pseuds/Wrathofscribbles
Summary: ... goodbye.





	A kiss...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlecakes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlecakes/gifts).



> **Big bold reminder that Final Fantasy XV and all of its content is property of Square Enix.** I just like to play in the sandpit they've created for the fans.
> 
> If this looks familiar to you, that's because it is. This used to be part of a multi-chapter pain-in-my ass, but I've decided to take that down and make every chapter a standalone oneshot. Apologies for any confusion caused.
> 
> Prompts are from [this list](https://wrathofscribbles.tumblr.com/post/177169224758/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-i-will-write-a).

When they are children they don't know any better of easily shared affection.  Holding hands and hugs come naturally to them, just like breathing and swimming and causing all kinds of merry hell for the adults watching over them, despite Noctis's station as Prince and the inkling in the back of Ignis's head that  _perhaps_ he shouldn't be so comfortable with this.  But they are children and the worries of adults are strange and puzzling things to them, boring and stuffy books in the face of adventure and cartoons he's dragged off to watch the very  _moment_ they're allowed to.

But for all that affection is easy and Noctis is a delight to get along with, Ignis is never one to leave a kiss upon the Prince's cheek, no, that is something reserved for Noctis to bestow on him, alone.  The first time it happens, Noctis draws back just as quickly as he'd leaned in to stifle a yawn behind his fist and blink sleepily at Ignis where he stands with a hand on his cheek, mouth dropped open in shock.  "Good night, Noctis," he says, because he doesn't know what else to, and ruffles black hair because he can and it makes Noctis giggle, before he takes his leave from Noctis's quarters and trots off to his own with a Crownsguard escort.

The second time it happens Noctis doesn't even make it to bed, simply drops onto Ignis's lap and conks out right there like he's the comfiest pillow in the world, trapping him on the sofa far too big for just the two of them.  Ignis doesn't  _mind_ , really, except his leg is already kinda dead and he's gotta pee, but he doesn't want to disturb Noctis and - and he only wakes when his Uncle comes to fetch him, hiking him up in spindle-stick arms even though he's a lot bigger and a lot older since the last time he'd been lifted and it's not quite so easy anymore.

Such kisses become frequent things in their friendship - always laid upon his cheek when he's to depart Noct's company either at the end of the night or when their studies pull them away.  A few are left on his forehead, too, when he's too tired to move from all the running and jumping around they've done and the adults come to fetch them from their grand adventures and mischief, a slurred  _"g'bye Iggy"_ the last he hears from Noct until the following day, Noctis flopped over him one moment and gone in a whirl of spooky cloaks the next, smiling at him like he'd announced a holiday from all classes at another.

He never thinks to return them, not when Noctis favours hugs the most and buries his face so quickly into Ignis's chest every time, burrowing under his jumper to hide from the King and his "princely responsibilities" (or vegetables), pouting and whining and stubbornly refusing to  _let go_.  He likes the kisses because they're warm and funny and only Noct gives them, and Noctis likes the hugs because Ignis is around his height and doesn't scoop him clean off the ground like some giant about to squish him for being an irritating bug.

And then he does, once.  Only once, because Noctis and the King are to visit Altissia to pay respects to the Astral slumbering under the city and he won't be seeing his friend for a couple of weeks.

"Goodbye, Noctis.  Have a safe trip," he says, and plants a kiss right on the tip of the Prince's nose, complete with a loud  _mwuah_ , much to the amusement of their caretakers and Noct's annoyance, jumping away from Ignis with an outraged squawk and flap of his hands before he's slapping at his nose as though he thought Ignis would be so sneaky as to steal it.

"Ew!  Gross, Iggy!"

"You do it to me all the time!"

"Yeah, well!  I make sure I'm not drooling, first!"

* * *

When his friend returns from that trip, cut short by a disaster that has the whole Citadel buzzing with anxious activity and extra guards posted everywhere Ignis can see... he is a shadow of that indignant boy, an empty husk curled up in the wheelchair pushed by the King, and Ignis feels his stomach drop through his shoes, caught up in indecision.  Does he run to Noctis and replace the King's hands with his own?  Does he hug him?  Will that hurt him?  Does he ask if he's okay when he's clearly not?  Or does he flee?  Does he put distance between them and clap his hands over his mouth and never utter a single word ever again?  Does he keep his kisses to himself to spare Noctis anymore pain?

He'd kissed Noctis the day of their departure.  He'd kissed him and wished him a safe trip and  _said goodbye_.

He'd cursed his friend to suffering, to countless nights screaming and sobbing, ill and weak and shaking in his father's arms while Ignis peers in from the doorway, crying himself and clutching the Carbuncle plushie Noctis gave him for his birthday.

_I'm so sorry._

* * *

"This isn't goodbye, Noct," he says with only a mild touch of surprise in his tone, dipping his head down to stare at the arms locked around his chest from behind, first, then twisting just enough to get a glimpse of his friend's wild tangle of hair mashed into his shoulder.  There is a surprising strength in that hold of his and Ignis is tempted to start walking, to determine if Noct can stop him, or stubbornly cling on and be dragged along for the ride.  Warm breath sinks into his shirt, his  _skin_ , steals away his own and momentarily wipes his brain squeaky clean of any thought expect the close proximity they haven't had in years -

_Proximity he couldn't allow._

\- since they were children, and Noctis is mumbling something he cannot decipher, the whine sliding through his voice speaking of his discontent at their impending separation louder than any words he could string together, a  _scream_ for all that he's quiet, and somewhere behind all the iron walls Ignis has meticulously crafted over the years his heart gives a painful squeeze.

"What was that?"

"... said I'm gonna miss you," is the mumbled reply and he turns in Noct's hold so he can return it in kind, risking all kinds of hell for his sanity when he's on his own by nosing into that riotous hair permanently stuck as "bedhead", closing his eyes and breathing a deep sigh.  Surely they are allowed this comfort, surely he can lay his hands on Noct's back and feel the play of muscles under his palm with every minute shift, surely he can touch his fingertips to the line of Noct's spine... surely no doom can come from this?

"It's only college, Noct, and I'll drop by for a visit every other day."

"Y'know I'm gonna die without your cooking, Igs."

" _Tsk_.  Ever sculpting mountains out of molehills.  Your kitchen will be kept well stocked for your foray in independence."

* * *

A hand on his tie, and any protest he might have for the creases being scrunched into it is dashed to the southerly winds with the sudden press of Noct's mouth to his own, lips a little chapped but  _welcome -_

He pulls back with a desperate noise, scrabbling for distance, for clarity, for strength to  _deny_ but Noctis is, and has always been, a tenacious fiend, shadowing his retreat with a complaint of his own and Ignis goes down when he collides with the sofa, the added weight of a persistent Prince at his chest sending him over it with a squeak of protest he'll deny later, tumbling all at once in a flail of limbs and tangling with Noctis until there's  _no escape_ and he's doomed.

He's powerless and doomed and this will be the final rule broken, the strike for dismissal, the end to their friendship and  _he can't -_

"Wanna kiss you."

" _Technically_ you just -"

"Shut up,"  Noctis says, and Ignis does exactly that, head dropping back with a solid  _thunk_ and hands lifting above it in surrender, utterly at Noct's mercy, following his lead and  _kissing him back_ because he is a weak, weak man and there couldn't possibly be a regret greater than if he was to turn his head aside  _now_.

* * *

There's something  _off_ about the grip in his hair and the play of tongue over his, Noct's sluggish response to his coaxing.   _Hesitation_ that hasn't been there since their first kiss in that tiny apartment, caught up in the hormonal rollercoaster of teenage years, and Ignis pulls back with something like dread in his gut.

Noct's eyes are distant and dark in the false light the Glaives have managed to generate to keep the daemons at bay, shadowed and  _sad_ and the dread turns physical, a pain that steals his breath and twists his stomach into knots.

"Don't you dare say this is goodbye, Noctis.  We've come too far for this to be your end."

"But the prophecy -"

" _Fuck the prophecy_.  I didn't fight Ardyn and burn at the hands of your ancestors ten years ago for the gods to pluck you from this earth and rip you from my side.  I will not allow it."

"But I have to die."

_"You most certainly do not."_

"You don't understand, Ignis!"  Hands on his shoulders, shoving him off, and he rolls aside and comes up on the other side of the bunk ready for a fight, blood pounding with the rush of it, and with an electric  _snap_ and flick of phantom blue, Noctis is right there, nose to nose with him, fists grabbing hold of his vest and threatening to tear the aged fabric with every push and pull, every effort to  _shake_ him.  "I  _have_ to.  No ifs, no buts, no maybes.  It's  _me_ , or the world and every living soul in it.  I can't run from this, Iggy, I can't hide,  _you can't keep me safe this time_.  It's me or everyone else.  It has to be."

"According to who?  The gods?  Who are they to dictate the lives of those who can bring them to their knees and remind them how it feels to bleed?  Who are they to bestow the gift of life on humanity and then steal it away when the fancy strikes them?  Fuck the prophecy, and fuck those who tout it like some saving grace!"

"Ignis -"

"No," he says, quiet and firm and  _vicious_ , mirroring Noct's grip and yanking him impossibly closer until they share every breath and he can see the glimmer of unshed tears, can almost taste the fear his lover tries so hard to hide.  "I will not lose you this night, Noctis, or any night.  If I must storm the Citadel myself and face Ardyn again,  _without_ the ring and might of your ancestors behind me, then so be it.   _Do not_ make this a goodbye."

There is no kiss to be had, not in this moment, not with them both so close to a breaking point, and so he reverts to what he once did as a child, and folds his arms around Noct's shoulders, holds on tight until the fight goes out of Noctis all at once and he crumples, buries his face where it cannot be seen and trembles as years of stress and fear and fury and pain tumble off his shoulders, where they never should have been.

"You're not alone, Noctis.  Not this time."

* * *

He lays a hand on his lover's cheek in the dead of night - or what the clocks deem night in the unnatural state the world's fallen into during the decade he's been absent - crouches by the bunk to watch him sleep, just for a minute.  Ignis mumbles something at the contact but doesn't wake, turns ever so slightly into the touch and he feels his heart  _break_ into a thousand pieces.

_This isn't fair_.

No tears.  No hesitation.  No regrets.  Well... all but one.

"Goodbye Ignis," he whispers, and leaves a kiss on Ignis's forehead before taking his leave.

No-one else will die tonight, not for him.  Never again.

_I'm so sorry._


End file.
